The Restaurant

I'm responsible for a group of four gentlemen each weekday morning, for a period of two-and-a-half hours. It doesn't seem like much but it's fairly challenging to keep them going that long. One of the biggest challenges is keeping their cups filled with iced tea. These guys range from purely autistic to severly mentally disabled, and not one of them will take plain old water. So I keep making tea and filling their cups, over and over, throughout the morning. I've started calling my work area "the restaurant" because I mostly serve beverages, snacks, and lunch to my various "customers" while still managing to fit in some artistic instruction. I also have to clean up spills and manage personal hygiene. My favorite job is scrubbing excrement from beneath fingernails so my clients won't poison each other. And all this for under ten dollars and hour!

Reminds me of working at the Blue Willow. Seems I just can't get away from food service, after all.

Shale Ridge Syrah 2004

The other day I was wandering through Sunflower Market with Aiden who is three years old and a very astute shopper. He knows that I like wine and he's always trying to get me to buy things that I don't need. In this case the item was a bottle of 2004 Syrah by Shale Ridge which retails for around $9. I decided to humor him, figuring that the wine couldn't be that bad. I opened the bottle last Friday after a long week with the mentally handicapped, and proceeded to write this review.

The 2004 Syrah by Shale Ridge is a slightly transparent dark ruby color in the glass with no sign of aging and moderate glycerin extraction (legs). The nose consists of the typical Syrah dark fruit aromas with some sage and tar notes. In the mouth the wine is medium dry with good acidity, not flabby, and fairly tannic. The usual dark berry tastes were evident along with white pepper, cumin, thyme, meat, leather and asphalt providing interesting complexity during the rather short and otherwise undistinguished finish. Alcohol and oak were moderate. This wine conveys good varietal distinction and would go well with Middle Eastern food. It is a dry wine that might not appeal to the average American wine drinker, and one that I will not purchase again since I like my Syrah with a bit more extraction and a rounder sugar to acid profile. All in all a worthy effort at a modest price, just not my style.

Finished with Fluoxetine

I have stopped taking Prozac. I've experienced very few withdrawal symptoms. I guess I got it out of my system, so to speak, the night that I got sick. Anyway, I was hoping Prozac would be a good thing but I'm too scared to take it now. I'm rethinking the whole medication question. I'm probably going to try a more natural approach to balancing my psychology, including more exercise.

On an up note, the new job seems to be going fine. Just getting out of the house has already improved my mood. Kariman seems to be doing better, too, although Aiden misses me and wants me to be with him and let Kariman take care of the baby. It's a challenging transition for all of us, but a good one.

I can have wine again, but I'm not going to drink every day like I was. Just weekends and special occasions.

Sigh.

Mystery Illness

Last night I was violently sick. It was unlike anything I've ever experienced. Many people have been sick with stomach flu, so it's possible that I caught a bug from someone. There was, however, one major difference: it felt like a toxic reaction to something. My entire body had this really awful buzz to it and I felt cold and shaky. Vomiting up dinner (with the Prozac I took afterwards) proved to relieve most of the symptoms, although since then I have felt shaky and hot/cold all over. I feel jittery and a little fuzzy headed. This all reminds me of the time I unknowingly consumed too much THC in the form of a pot brownie. I've never been so screwed up, and the reaction was quite similar, with the body buzz, the toxic feelings, the desire to vomit, and the residual fuzziness.

I think it would be wise to give the Prozac a break.

The New Job

My first day at my new job... Tiring... Crazy... I work with about twenty developmentally challenged adults, not one of them alike except for being mentally and emotionally incapacitated. Some don't speak at all, some speak loudly and cannot be understood, some can't walk, some can't see very well, some have accidents in the bathroom. I'm supposed to find ways to stimulate these folks using art media. It's a difficult job, a little like handling a group of toddlers, infants and three-year-olds who are all older than me and who have all the needs and hangups of adulthood.

Reminds me of the drum circle.

Prozac Goals

My goals related to Prozac:

Reduce OCD/ADD tendencies so I can stick with one job and finish tasks.
Reduce angst and irritability (depression).
Reduce dependence on alcohol/caffeine.

I'll need about six months to see if Prozac will help me to find balance in my life. I'm not supposed to drink alcohol since the effects are often doubled by the SSRI. An occasional drink (no driving) shouldn't kill me, but daily drinking would be a bad idea.

Had a headache today, but don't know if it was the Prozac or the fact that I woke up at 4 o'clock this morning to tend to the cats and kids, then didn't really get back to sleep. Or maybe it was Aiden kicking me in the head while I tried to get him to sleep another hour.

Sonoma Creek Pinot Noir 2000

Okay, this wine from Sonoma Creek Winery (California) is both quite good and quite awful. For some reason the winery chose to cellar the stuff for six years, perhaps hoping to increase the complexity and/or roundness, which they seem to have done more or less in spite of the varietal lack of structure. The wine has a nice nose of the usual suspects--cherries, cranberries. In the mouth I tasted jammy cherries, vanilla, leather and dirt, just barely overripe, with nice acidity and medium sweetness. Not too much oak or alcohol. A basically nice wine. However, since the wine has been cellared so long you’ll need to drink it immediately upon opening. Any further storage and the wine quickly collapses, taking on plenty of raisins and rot in the process, making it undrinkable. An unpredictable wine that I’ll pass on in the future.

Costs about $12 retail.

Taft Street Pinot Noir 2004

This medium-bodied Pinot Noir from Taft Street Winery (Sabastopol, California) is one of my favorite casual Pinots. While uncomplicated and relatively short in the mouth, the wine provides a pleasant burst of cherries and grape jelly accompanied by leather and earth. Tannins are very soft and the alcohol is modest. Not much oak, but enough to impart a little vanilla. The wine needs about twenty minutes to open up, so give it time to come around and I think you’ll be satisfied. A good example of affordable Pinot from the upper coastal region of California, and at around $12 it’s a good buy.

Mark West Pinot Noir 2004

The 2004 Pinot Noir from Mark West (Corsica!) is a drinkable wine that, if not for a noticeable undercurrent of horse dooky, would be on my list of occasional purchases. The nose has a nice cranberry and violet bouquet that I haven’t smelled anywhere else in a Pinot Noir. Stranger still, in the mouth the wine comes across tasting a bit like a Petite Sirah, with cherry and warm spice notes accompanied by milk chocolate and earth and a bit of mocha in the not-very-long finish. All of these flavors are woven around a subtle core of road apples, an unsettling discovery to say the least. Some people might not be distracted by a little poop in their wine but it ruins the experience for me. Otherwise the wine seems balanced with mild tannin and not too much oak or alcohol.

I don’t think I’ll buy this one again, and at $11 I can do better. Incidentally, you can find this wine on sale for even less at Trader Joe’s. That is, if you really like the taste of pony poo.

Fluoxetine

To quote a very old friend of mine, “It’s the doctors who have all the really good drugs.” Well, that remains to be seen. Tonight I took my first generic Prozac, aka Fluoxetine, a complex molecular substance that will undoubtedly have some marked effect on my mental disposition. My dosage is fairly small, only twenty milligrams, but this is %@cking PROZAC we're talking about here, the original postmodern solution to all our $*^damn problems! The stuff smacks of pharmaceutical largesse and bilious litigation. Time will tell whether red wine and black coffee would have been better alternatives. Ironically, because of medical insurance, my new drug is very cheap. Getting your hands on it is the hard part. You have to really #uck things up, or be a very good malingerer, in order to convince the person in the white smock to give it to you, and when she does, she does so with sanctimonious discretion.

I’m going to talk about my Fluoxetine experiences in this blog. I am not ashamed of being on Prozac, only curious, concerned, and also a little hopeful. I am, after all, taking this for reasons other than recreation.

Speaking of recreation, since I can’t drink wine while taking Prozac, it may be a long time before the next wine review. Because of this I’ve decided to post a three part Pinot review as sort of a final sendoff.

Enjoy!

Done.

For those of you who have been paying attention, my life has been a pretty big mess for quite a while, culminating in a serious midlife crisis which saw its ultimate depressive breakdown a couple days ago. Thanks to the help of a variety of people, professional and otherwise, I’ve made it through without killing myself or killing anyone else. What it comes down to is this: I’ve been struggling for some time to find my true calling in life. It started with a failed attempt to become an art therapist, which was ultimately a disaster that doesn’t really bear repeating. It ended with a desire to become a professional fine artist, an attempt that was met with some limited success, which complicated matters tremendously. I have also entertained a career as a writer of literary fiction as a possible close second, perhaps rolled into the art career as sort of a dual creative tour-de-force. Well, I have finally come through the fire, and have seen the truth, as it is, of my life.

I am going to take the nine-to-five job working with the developmentally challenged. I am going to give Prozac a try, and see what happens. I am going to be with my family, and I am not going to be a professional artist, or a professional writer, or anything other than a loving father, because ultimately that is what I am here for. There may be paintings or stories left to paint or write, but that is not who I am. I have come through the fire. I have seen the ultimate darkness, and begged for my own death, and I know the truth, and will seek no further in this lifetime.

Oh, and I can’t really drink much wine while I’m on the meds, but that’s okay. Wine just gets better over time, and I have all the time in the world.

Namaste.

Zaca Mesa Roussanne 2004

It’s not often I drink white wine, and when I do I usually don’t bother to spring for an expensive bottle since so many of them are overdone, especially Chardonnays. Then along came this delightful Roussanne by Zaca Mesa and I must say I’ve finally been converted to a pricier ($20) white wine. Roussanne is a Rhone grape varietal with characteristics similar to Pinot Grigio, although less sweet than Grigio and certainly less sweet than Viogner or Chardonnay. I found this particular Roussanne, by Zaca Mesa Vineyards, to be medium bodied with a bracing acidity that interacted nicely with the sugary elements of the wine. In the nose the wine smelled almost exactly like whole wheat toast with apricot jam and honey. I tasted grapefruit, honeydew melon, clover honey, vanilla (from the modest oak) and some spiciness, and the finish was medium long and enjoyable. Alcohol was moderate and tannin was non-existent. One of the nicest whites I’ve tried, and another excellent offering from Zaca Mesa.

Unless you live in Solvang, I’m afraid you’ll have to order this wine from a reputable dealer like 58 Degrees and Holding, or visit the tasting room at Zaca Mesa like my mother-in-law did on her last trip to the Santa Ynez Valley.

Now if she had only brought back more...

Yellow Tail Shiraz 2005

I usually don't write about wines that I wouldn't recommend. The 2005 Shiraz by Yellow Tail Vineyards is one of the rare exceptions. I decided to try a bottle since I've been told that it's a step up from Two Buck Chuck and a good buy. Well, I can honestly say that it's not any better than Two Buck Chuck, but here's the full review, in case you're interested.

Yellow Tail Shiraz is a medium transparent ruby-purple in the glass and shows modest glycerine extraction. The nose gives off a whiff of cherry jelly and spice. The mouth is chalky but not too tannic, and consists of overripe, cherry-plum notes with some spicey dirt and not too much oak. The wine is definately flabby with sugars overwhelming the acidity, kind of like strong Kool Aid with just a touch of cooking sherry and wine vinegar. All these tastes disappear quickly to be replaced by oak and a hint of cocoa on the unadorned finish. Varietal distinction is minimal. This Shiraz could be a Merlot or an overripe Cabernet. A good Red for someone who has recently upgraded from cheap White Zin. Drinkable, but barely so, and no better than the other cheap blended wines found in its company.

There was a time when I might have liked this wine, but quite frankly I'd go for the Cabernet version of Two Buck if I were broke and needed a fix.

Moonset

Full moon. Pink clouds. Tucson.

Balance

Sold $400 worth of watercolors yesterday. Bought two cases of wine worth $400. Balance has been achieved.

Fishing Trip

Guess who caught the biggest fish. Here's a hint: he's not a white guy.

Golden Lentil Soup

This is the soup that I first made at the Blue Willow Restaurant and which has attained a certain mythic status among our various friends and family. It is totally vegan and better than anything non-vegan I have ever tried. The addition of a little sour cream at the end wouldn't hurt, though, if you're into it.

Golden Lentil Soup

1 pound red lentils (these are hulled lentils; avoid using brown or green)
1 medium white or yellow onion, peeled and finely chopped
2c chopped carrots
1/2c chopped fresh cilantro
1c olive oil (don't skimp--this is the secret!)
3 cloves garlic, crushed
1t ground cumin
2t salt (adjust upward to taste)
1t white sugar (not brown, not splenda)
1t black pepper
1/2t turmeric
2t chili powder (Spice Hunter is the best)

t = teaspoon
T = tablespoon
c = cup

Place lentils in large pot and cover with about 3x water. You may rinse the lentils beforehand if desired. Boil the lentils carefully, stirring so that they don't stick to the bottom of the pot. Don't let the pot boil over! skim off any foam that appears on the surface. Once most of the foam is gone, add the onions, oil and dry spices all at once. Reduce heat to simmer and cook for one or two hours or until lentils completely dissolve. Keep stirring to prevent scorching. If soup is too watery, add about 1/2 cup of white rice and simmer until rice softens and soup thickens. Add carrots and cook for an additional 20 minutes until carrots are softened but not mushy. Remove from heat and add fresh cilantro. Add salt to taste, if needed. Add sour cream or yogurt for the ultimate in hedony.

Super awesome!

Cambria Pinot Noir Julia's Vineyard 2004

This is a review of Cambria Pinot Noir Julia’s Vineyard 2004 which I drank over a period of three days while stuck on a fishing boat off the coast of Mexico. As a general rule I wouldn’t recommend drinking red wine on the open sea, sea sickness being only the first of many possible complications. Nevertheless there I was, about ninety miles west of Ensenada on open water, with twenty other people fishing for Dorado, Yellowtail and Tuna, and wishing I was home sipping wine out of a wine glass instead of a polypropylene coffee cup.

This wine, by Cambria Vineyards (Santa Maria Valley) is an excellent example of California Pinot Noir. Fairly big and very round, the wine tastes strongly of caramelized cherries and lingonberry jam, with the usual nose of cherries and spice. Acidity and sugars are in perfect balance, and the finish is long, with barely any wood or alcohol to spoil the ending. A tasty, evocative wine, better than any Merlot at any price point, in my humble opinion.

At first I thought this wine was overpriced ($28) but then I found it at Costco for ten dollars less. I would rank it alongside any other very good California Pinot such as the excellent entry level wine made by Au Bon Climat. As with most wines of this variety, they go well with almost anything. I experienced favorable results while eating king crab and seared yellowtail on the boat. You would not be able to do that with a Cabernet, I’m thinking. Given the choice, I’d prefer to enjoy this wine alongside roast chicken with herbed mashed potatoes, but hey, beggars can’t be choosers. In addition to being good out of the bottle, the wine held up well for three days stashed next to the condensing plate of our bunk room’s AC unit.

Cheers!

Zaca Mesa Syrah 2001

I had an opportunity to try a bottle of Zaca Mesa Syrah that had been left at our beach house by someone who clearly knows something about wine. I'm usually a bit tentative about trying new Syrahs because they can be so variable in quality and taste, depending on where the grapes were grown and how the wine was made. Some Syrah's can be way too herbal and peppery, like an overdone Zin with peppercorns and sage floating around in the bottom. This Syrah by Zaca Mesa Vineyards is not one of those. I found it to be one of the best Syrahs I've tried. Very round and smooth with an incredible balance of sweetness and acid. I tasted subtle pepper and spice notes on the palette but vanilla and rich chocolaty berries were the dominant flavors. The finish is long and sweet and no alcohol to speak of. A very worthy effort, and at $20 I'd call it a good buy.

McManis Petite Sirah 2004

There are few wines in the less-than-fifteen-dollars category that compare with this luscious Petite Sirah by McManis Family Vineyards. This modestly priced wine has a full, spicy nose on it, but the real quality is all in the mouth. Rich, jammy black cherry and blackberry flavors are accompanied by a very noticeable core of chocolate, and the finish is surprisingly long, leaving behind traces of cocoa and blueberry. An absolutely delicious wine that has blown everyone away, including Kariman who usually won't finish a glass unless it really appeals to her. A medium-big wine but not overdone, with modest alcohol and a very round balance of sugars and acidity. Oh, and the tannins and oak are barely there at all, just a hint in the background. A superb wine that I would serve by itself or with just about any savory or spicy dish. Move over Merlot. It's time for the real deal.