June Lake Gazpacho

When life gives you tomatoes, make gazpacho. The following is the story of, and the recipe for, the best gazpacho you’ll ever eat. It is much better than the variety I used to make while working for the Blue Willow Restaurant, and much simpler.

Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I hate gazpacho. I hate raw tomatoes and just about anything made from raw tomatoes, gazpacho being one of those things. Nevertheless, during our stay at June Lake we were gifted with an entire flat of large, ripe, raw tomatoes by a nice woman who no longer needed them. Bob and I took the tomatoes and gave them a home, and pondered what, if anything, we might use them for. A couple days went by and the tomatoes sat there on the kitchen table, looking dejected. One of them even started to ooze a little, as if to say “Use me now you stupid &@#hole, or you’ll be sorry.”

It was then that Bob came up with the brilliant idea of making gazpacho. At first I cringed at the thought of slicing up all those terrible tomatoes, but then I reminded myself that I didn’t have to actually eat the gazpacho, just make it. So I dove into the job, dragging out a couple loose vegetables from the fridge, and adding a few other items purchased from a nearby convenience store. When I was finished, I tossed the whole mess back into the fridge and forgot about it, secretly hoping that everyone else would do the same. In a couple days I would flush the gazpacho down the toilet, and that would be the end of the experiment.

The next day we all went to Mono Lake for a post-wedding picnic. Karen brought the gazpacho along (by then it had begun to stink up the fridge) and offered it to anyone with courage enough to try it. I attempted to distance myself from these poor guinea pigs, and hoped for the best. Perhaps they wouldn’t know it was me that made the gazpacho? Maybe I could blame the awful taste on the donated tomatoes?

Well, my June Lake Gazpacho was, according to everyone who tried it, the best @#cking gazpacho they’d ever had. They gobbled up that nasty stuff and came back for more. What can I say? I hate gazpacho, but once again managed to appease the collective soul of the people.

Here is the recipe:

JUNE LAKE GAZPACHO (makes about a gallon)

2 quarts tomato juice (not V-8)
7-8 medium, ripe tomatoes, finely diced
1 ripe honeydew melon, finely diced, including any juice (the secret!)
3 medium cucumbers, peeled, seeded, finely diced
1 avocado, finely diced
1/2 bunch fresh cilantro, chopped super fine
1t garlic powder (not garlic salt, not raw garlic)
2t salt (careful!)
1/2t sugar (the real thing, please)
4t chili powder (Spice Hunter is best)
1 pinch black pepper (freshly ground, if possible)

t = teaspoon

Put all the ingredients together in a large pot or bowl, enough to hold two gallons. Mash the resulting slurry with a potato masher to break down any big chunks and bruise the smaller ones (not really necessary, but that’s what I did in the cabin at June Lake). You can also use a hand mixer, just don't overdo it. You want some chunks in there. Cover the gazpacho and place it in the fridge overnight. Waiting overnight is not necessary but a little fermentation helps to break down the cellulose and seems to transform all the disparate flavors into one mysterious uber-flavor, difficult to describe and impossible to resist (or so I’ve been told). At any rate, gazpacho is supposed to be served cold and raw, so chill it for a good hour or more before serving.

Good luck and enjoy!