Chipotle Cherry BBQ Sauce

Here is a very simple and very good recipe for barbecued chicken, fish, or beef. It may be difficult to locate the chipotle in adobo. It comes in small metal canisters and can be found in the Hispanic section of your local supermarket. Chipotle peppers are smoked jalapeno peppers, and adobo is a type of savory sauce.

Chipotle Cherry BBQ Sauce:

1 can chipotle peppers in adobo (about a cup)
1 jar cherry preserves (about 2 cups)
1t salt
1/4c BBQ sauce (Sweet Baby Ray’s is good)

Blend all these ingredients in a food processor until thoroughly pulped, forming a nice slurry. Should be super spicy and super tasty. Don’t worry, it will be a little milder when you eat it. Brush the sauce onto chicken or fish or beef or whatever at the end of the grilling cycle so that all sides are coated. Let things burn a little, then serve. Super yummy and torches the lips just right without overwhelming the meal.

Buenissimo!

Tom Waits

For those of you who give a shit about real music, Tom Waits is set to release a new album of really juicy material next month. What can I say, this is as good as it gets. Three CDs that should pretty much immortalize the guy forever.

Thanksgiving 2006

I found out today that I will be able to take the entire week off for Thanksgiving. I can't imagine a more wonderful development, since this will allow Kariman, Aiden, Rowan and I to stay at the Santa Barbara beach house for an entire week! I'll get to cook numerous unbelievable meals for the entire family (Karen and Bob will be there, too) and I'll get to make a pilgrimage to some of the best wineries in the world, located literally fifteen minutes away in the Santa Ynez Valley. I hope to hit a few of my favorites, including Au Bon Climat, Zaca Mesa, Andrew Murray, and maybe Cambria. On the way I'll stop at the Hitching Post to try their wines and maybe pick up a bottle of their Highliner Pinot Noir. Can't wait to sit at the same bar where Miles and Jack sat in the movie Sideways! Am I a geek or what?

You can't imagine how truly cool this is unless you've seen the Santa Barbara beach house. Here are a couple pictures from years past... along with one from my favorite movie...

Chipotle Mocha Pork Tenderloin

Okay, so you want to get someone into bed, but all you have are the following ingredients:

1c brown sugar
2c ground cacao nibs (the real thing; use coffee grinder)
1/2c coffee concentrate (see below ***)
1t chipotle powder (morita is good)
1/2t salt
1t vanilla extract
1t ground cinnamon
water for consistency

5 large crimini mushrooms or two portabellas, sliced thin
4 cups or about half a bag of fresh arugala

a fairly large pork tenderloin, about two or three pounds

a bottle of either a) Domaine Coteau Pinot Noir 2003; or b) Zaca Mesa Syrah 2001; or an equivalent really f@#!ing good red wine, big enough to handle the chocolate and surgars

a person of the correct sexual orientation and availability.......

condom..........

Mix all the sauce ingredients in a small pan and heat on medium high until the sugar melts and everything turns into a thick, dark tar, adding water or boiling until desired consistency is achieved. Sautee the mushrooms in a non-stick pan until cooked, then add the arugala, which will wilt down quickly. Remove from heat and cool. Using a sharp knife, slice the tenderloin lengthwise so that it unrolls like a sweetroll, about half an inch thick or thinner, so that you end up with a large, flat, unrolled piece of meat. Slather about half the mocha sauce on the exposed face, then distribute the shroom/arugala mix evenly. Reroll the tenderloin and seal it with tooth picks or bamboo skewers (cut off afterword with wire cutters). Heat grill to very hot. Grill the tenderloin on both sides to get some decent grill lines, then allow it to rest in the center of the grill with the center burner off and the side burners on for indirect heat. Should be around 400 degrees. Using a meat thermometer, roast the tenderloin until heated through, about thirty to forty minutes, about 160 degrees in the center for safety. Remove from grill and allow to rest, then slather with additional chipotle mocha sauce and garnish with fresh cilantro. Open bottle of wine. Mix a salad of arugala and a lite vinagrette, not too acidic. Maybe serve some barbecued yams or equivalent on the side, with fresh thyme butter.

Eat dinner outside with votive candles and Bobby Lounge playing in the background. After dinner, have a dessert of vanilla bean ice cream with Mexican chocolate sauce, then go directly to the bedroom or perhaps the living room couch for a mystical rendezvous. Mission accomplished.

***Coffee concentrate:

Using a French press, mix about five tablespoons of ground coffee with about two cups of boiling water. Stir well, press and use this as your liquid for the chipotle mocha sauce, adding more as needed.

Alpha and Omega

As I look around at my life, I find that I am satisfied. I don't want anything more than what I have. Tucson is enough. This house is enough. It's enough to work where I work and come home to my family.

I enjoy cooking for my friends. I like sharing good wine with people who have realized how to live, who aren't running away from anything, and who feel good just being in their bodies.

I have very little patience for people who would rather be somewhere else. I have very little patience for politicians or anyone who thinks they have the answer.

I do not like additives or preservatives. I do not like vegetarians, environmentalists, bible thumpers, militant lesbians, rednecks, yuppies or anyone who owns a Hummer. I find Hummers to be the ultimate expression of militarism and capitalism run amuck. I detest loud people (unless they are mentally ill, in which case I love them). I like decay in all its forms. Most dogs are dirty. Most cats are obnoxious. I can't decide which bothers me more.

The secret to a good life is pleasure. Sex is good for you. Delicious food is good for you. Tasteless food and sex are not good for you. Raw spinach can kill you, so cook your goddamn food and quit dieting. Have sex instead.

There is no God except the one you bring with you, so you might as well sit down and be quiet.

One life to live. No exceptions. Make it a good one.

Domaine Coteau Pinot Noir 2003

I recently had the pleasure of trying several excellent wines at 58 Degrees and Holding Company here in Tucson. Of the five good wines I tried, my favorite was the 2003 Pinot Noir by Domaine Coteau (just south of Portland, Oregon). This heavily extracted wine was the color of dark cherry jam and less transparent than your typical Pinot. It smelled strongly of black cherry and spices, along with a definitive note of Pepsi Cola. In the mouth the wine was very full, almost overripe, but not flabby, with notes of dark cherry, vanilla, warm spices, leather, and Dr. Pepper (I'm not kidding). The finish was lengthy and powerful. Tannins, oak and alcohol were all within tolerable limits. A very sinful wine that might be just a little big for some folks. I loved it, and the fact that it came from Oregon, just south of my favorite city, made it all the more enjoyable.

The 2003 is currently sold out. I have one bottle left, and can't wait to share it with the right group of people.

The Restaurant

I'm responsible for a group of four gentlemen each weekday morning, for a period of two-and-a-half hours. It doesn't seem like much but it's fairly challenging to keep them going that long. One of the biggest challenges is keeping their cups filled with iced tea. These guys range from purely autistic to severly mentally disabled, and not one of them will take plain old water. So I keep making tea and filling their cups, over and over, throughout the morning. I've started calling my work area "the restaurant" because I mostly serve beverages, snacks, and lunch to my various "customers" while still managing to fit in some artistic instruction. I also have to clean up spills and manage personal hygiene. My favorite job is scrubbing excrement from beneath fingernails so my clients won't poison each other. And all this for under ten dollars and hour!

Reminds me of working at the Blue Willow. Seems I just can't get away from food service, after all.

Shale Ridge Syrah 2004

The other day I was wandering through Sunflower Market with Aiden who is three years old and a very astute shopper. He knows that I like wine and he's always trying to get me to buy things that I don't need. In this case the item was a bottle of 2004 Syrah by Shale Ridge which retails for around $9. I decided to humor him, figuring that the wine couldn't be that bad. I opened the bottle last Friday after a long week with the mentally handicapped, and proceeded to write this review.

The 2004 Syrah by Shale Ridge is a slightly transparent dark ruby color in the glass with no sign of aging and moderate glycerin extraction (legs). The nose consists of the typical Syrah dark fruit aromas with some sage and tar notes. In the mouth the wine is medium dry with good acidity, not flabby, and fairly tannic. The usual dark berry tastes were evident along with white pepper, cumin, thyme, meat, leather and asphalt providing interesting complexity during the rather short and otherwise undistinguished finish. Alcohol and oak were moderate. This wine conveys good varietal distinction and would go well with Middle Eastern food. It is a dry wine that might not appeal to the average American wine drinker, and one that I will not purchase again since I like my Syrah with a bit more extraction and a rounder sugar to acid profile. All in all a worthy effort at a modest price, just not my style.

Finished with Fluoxetine

I have stopped taking Prozac. I've experienced very few withdrawal symptoms. I guess I got it out of my system, so to speak, the night that I got sick. Anyway, I was hoping Prozac would be a good thing but I'm too scared to take it now. I'm rethinking the whole medication question. I'm probably going to try a more natural approach to balancing my psychology, including more exercise.

On an up note, the new job seems to be going fine. Just getting out of the house has already improved my mood. Kariman seems to be doing better, too, although Aiden misses me and wants me to be with him and let Kariman take care of the baby. It's a challenging transition for all of us, but a good one.

I can have wine again, but I'm not going to drink every day like I was. Just weekends and special occasions.

Sigh.

Mystery Illness

Last night I was violently sick. It was unlike anything I've ever experienced. Many people have been sick with stomach flu, so it's possible that I caught a bug from someone. There was, however, one major difference: it felt like a toxic reaction to something. My entire body had this really awful buzz to it and I felt cold and shaky. Vomiting up dinner (with the Prozac I took afterwards) proved to relieve most of the symptoms, although since then I have felt shaky and hot/cold all over. I feel jittery and a little fuzzy headed. This all reminds me of the time I unknowingly consumed too much THC in the form of a pot brownie. I've never been so screwed up, and the reaction was quite similar, with the body buzz, the toxic feelings, the desire to vomit, and the residual fuzziness.

I think it would be wise to give the Prozac a break.

The New Job

My first day at my new job... Tiring... Crazy... I work with about twenty developmentally challenged adults, not one of them alike except for being mentally and emotionally incapacitated. Some don't speak at all, some speak loudly and cannot be understood, some can't walk, some can't see very well, some have accidents in the bathroom. I'm supposed to find ways to stimulate these folks using art media. It's a difficult job, a little like handling a group of toddlers, infants and three-year-olds who are all older than me and who have all the needs and hangups of adulthood.

Reminds me of the drum circle.

Prozac Goals

My goals related to Prozac:

Reduce OCD/ADD tendencies so I can stick with one job and finish tasks.
Reduce angst and irritability (depression).
Reduce dependence on alcohol/caffeine.

I'll need about six months to see if Prozac will help me to find balance in my life. I'm not supposed to drink alcohol since the effects are often doubled by the SSRI. An occasional drink (no driving) shouldn't kill me, but daily drinking would be a bad idea.

Had a headache today, but don't know if it was the Prozac or the fact that I woke up at 4 o'clock this morning to tend to the cats and kids, then didn't really get back to sleep. Or maybe it was Aiden kicking me in the head while I tried to get him to sleep another hour.

Sonoma Creek Pinot Noir 2000

Okay, this wine from Sonoma Creek Winery (California) is both quite good and quite awful. For some reason the winery chose to cellar the stuff for six years, perhaps hoping to increase the complexity and/or roundness, which they seem to have done more or less in spite of the varietal lack of structure. The wine has a nice nose of the usual suspects--cherries, cranberries. In the mouth I tasted jammy cherries, vanilla, leather and dirt, just barely overripe, with nice acidity and medium sweetness. Not too much oak or alcohol. A basically nice wine. However, since the wine has been cellared so long you’ll need to drink it immediately upon opening. Any further storage and the wine quickly collapses, taking on plenty of raisins and rot in the process, making it undrinkable. An unpredictable wine that I’ll pass on in the future.

Costs about $12 retail.

Taft Street Pinot Noir 2004

This medium-bodied Pinot Noir from Taft Street Winery (Sabastopol, California) is one of my favorite casual Pinots. While uncomplicated and relatively short in the mouth, the wine provides a pleasant burst of cherries and grape jelly accompanied by leather and earth. Tannins are very soft and the alcohol is modest. Not much oak, but enough to impart a little vanilla. The wine needs about twenty minutes to open up, so give it time to come around and I think you’ll be satisfied. A good example of affordable Pinot from the upper coastal region of California, and at around $12 it’s a good buy.

Mark West Pinot Noir 2004

The 2004 Pinot Noir from Mark West (Corsica!) is a drinkable wine that, if not for a noticeable undercurrent of horse dooky, would be on my list of occasional purchases. The nose has a nice cranberry and violet bouquet that I haven’t smelled anywhere else in a Pinot Noir. Stranger still, in the mouth the wine comes across tasting a bit like a Petite Sirah, with cherry and warm spice notes accompanied by milk chocolate and earth and a bit of mocha in the not-very-long finish. All of these flavors are woven around a subtle core of road apples, an unsettling discovery to say the least. Some people might not be distracted by a little poop in their wine but it ruins the experience for me. Otherwise the wine seems balanced with mild tannin and not too much oak or alcohol.

I don’t think I’ll buy this one again, and at $11 I can do better. Incidentally, you can find this wine on sale for even less at Trader Joe’s. That is, if you really like the taste of pony poo.

Fluoxetine

To quote a very old friend of mine, “It’s the doctors who have all the really good drugs.” Well, that remains to be seen. Tonight I took my first generic Prozac, aka Fluoxetine, a complex molecular substance that will undoubtedly have some marked effect on my mental disposition. My dosage is fairly small, only twenty milligrams, but this is %@cking PROZAC we're talking about here, the original postmodern solution to all our $*^damn problems! The stuff smacks of pharmaceutical largesse and bilious litigation. Time will tell whether red wine and black coffee would have been better alternatives. Ironically, because of medical insurance, my new drug is very cheap. Getting your hands on it is the hard part. You have to really #uck things up, or be a very good malingerer, in order to convince the person in the white smock to give it to you, and when she does, she does so with sanctimonious discretion.

I’m going to talk about my Fluoxetine experiences in this blog. I am not ashamed of being on Prozac, only curious, concerned, and also a little hopeful. I am, after all, taking this for reasons other than recreation.

Speaking of recreation, since I can’t drink wine while taking Prozac, it may be a long time before the next wine review. Because of this I’ve decided to post a three part Pinot review as sort of a final sendoff.

Enjoy!

Done.

For those of you who have been paying attention, my life has been a pretty big mess for quite a while, culminating in a serious midlife crisis which saw its ultimate depressive breakdown a couple days ago. Thanks to the help of a variety of people, professional and otherwise, I’ve made it through without killing myself or killing anyone else. What it comes down to is this: I’ve been struggling for some time to find my true calling in life. It started with a failed attempt to become an art therapist, which was ultimately a disaster that doesn’t really bear repeating. It ended with a desire to become a professional fine artist, an attempt that was met with some limited success, which complicated matters tremendously. I have also entertained a career as a writer of literary fiction as a possible close second, perhaps rolled into the art career as sort of a dual creative tour-de-force. Well, I have finally come through the fire, and have seen the truth, as it is, of my life.

I am going to take the nine-to-five job working with the developmentally challenged. I am going to give Prozac a try, and see what happens. I am going to be with my family, and I am not going to be a professional artist, or a professional writer, or anything other than a loving father, because ultimately that is what I am here for. There may be paintings or stories left to paint or write, but that is not who I am. I have come through the fire. I have seen the ultimate darkness, and begged for my own death, and I know the truth, and will seek no further in this lifetime.

Oh, and I can’t really drink much wine while I’m on the meds, but that’s okay. Wine just gets better over time, and I have all the time in the world.

Namaste.

Zaca Mesa Roussanne 2004

It’s not often I drink white wine, and when I do I usually don’t bother to spring for an expensive bottle since so many of them are overdone, especially Chardonnays. Then along came this delightful Roussanne by Zaca Mesa and I must say I’ve finally been converted to a pricier ($20) white wine. Roussanne is a Rhone grape varietal with characteristics similar to Pinot Grigio, although less sweet than Grigio and certainly less sweet than Viogner or Chardonnay. I found this particular Roussanne, by Zaca Mesa Vineyards, to be medium bodied with a bracing acidity that interacted nicely with the sugary elements of the wine. In the nose the wine smelled almost exactly like whole wheat toast with apricot jam and honey. I tasted grapefruit, honeydew melon, clover honey, vanilla (from the modest oak) and some spiciness, and the finish was medium long and enjoyable. Alcohol was moderate and tannin was non-existent. One of the nicest whites I’ve tried, and another excellent offering from Zaca Mesa.

Unless you live in Solvang, I’m afraid you’ll have to order this wine from a reputable dealer like 58 Degrees and Holding, or visit the tasting room at Zaca Mesa like my mother-in-law did on her last trip to the Santa Ynez Valley.

Now if she had only brought back more...

Yellow Tail Shiraz 2005

I usually don't write about wines that I wouldn't recommend. The 2005 Shiraz by Yellow Tail Vineyards is one of the rare exceptions. I decided to try a bottle since I've been told that it's a step up from Two Buck Chuck and a good buy. Well, I can honestly say that it's not any better than Two Buck Chuck, but here's the full review, in case you're interested.

Yellow Tail Shiraz is a medium transparent ruby-purple in the glass and shows modest glycerine extraction. The nose gives off a whiff of cherry jelly and spice. The mouth is chalky but not too tannic, and consists of overripe, cherry-plum notes with some spicey dirt and not too much oak. The wine is definately flabby with sugars overwhelming the acidity, kind of like strong Kool Aid with just a touch of cooking sherry and wine vinegar. All these tastes disappear quickly to be replaced by oak and a hint of cocoa on the unadorned finish. Varietal distinction is minimal. This Shiraz could be a Merlot or an overripe Cabernet. A good Red for someone who has recently upgraded from cheap White Zin. Drinkable, but barely so, and no better than the other cheap blended wines found in its company.

There was a time when I might have liked this wine, but quite frankly I'd go for the Cabernet version of Two Buck if I were broke and needed a fix.

Moonset

Full moon. Pink clouds. Tucson.